Wednesday, April 29, 2015

What kind of mother do you want to be?

A few weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with a fellow mother. We talked about our babies. We talked about how they slept. Where they were, milestone wise. How they were doing with feedings. How they were doing with baby food. At this point I heard " Oh you are that kind of mom. You really are trying too hard." I completely understood where she was coming from. Because that is completely something I know I have said to a mom at one point in time. Actually I can think of three separate occasions that come to mind. Do we really have to make it harder on our selves? I have thought back to that conversation many times in the last couple of weeks.

I am a mom who loves to take care of her children.  I am a co-sleeping, breastfeeding, cuddling, and baby food-making mom this time around. I have also been the crib sleeping, formula feeding, and Gerber food mom. Each child has and had their own likes and dislikes. I have been the best mom I could have been in both situations.

That statement really made me think. Are there really different kinds of moms? Or do we all do the what we feel is best for our children? I know for me having two different experiences I can say there aren't different kinds of moms. But rather a list of things that are important and things that are secondary.

For me as I have welcomed my second child I want to do more from scratch. I want to be more self sufficient. I admit it might have something to do with what is happening in the world around us. There may come a time in the future where a quick trip to the store might not be so easy. Lets face it. This world is getting worse instead of better. So for me I would much rather know how to do it myself.

I feel such joy watching my little one eat the fruits and veggies that I have made for him. I know his likes and dislikes. I love the look on his face when he takes the first bite of his favorite. How excited he gets when he sees his spoon and bowl coming towards him. I also love that it cost me a little less than $15 to make a month's worth.

But I have also felt those feelings when I fed Little Man store bought food. He still had his likes and dislikes. But he was also my first. I never even knew about the option of making his food for him. I stopped nursing him and switched to formula. I did the best I could. I still tried "too hard" to keep him happy. He never cried for longer then a few minutes. I was always right there when he needed me.

So yes I guess I am trying to hard. But isn't that the whole point of being a mom? The real question we should be asking ourselves is "What kind of mom do you want your children to see and know?"

I want my children to see me as a mom who loves them unconditionally. A mom who loves walking in to wake them up and see their smiling face. A mom who loves making a mess while making cookies. A mom who takes time for herself. A mom who tries again after a failed attempt. A mom who loves to cook for them. A mom who loves to make things for them. A mom who loves their father with all her heart. A mom who knows what it is like to suffer. A mom who has no doubt that God lives. A mom who isn't afraid to cry in front of them, and for that matter who isn't afraid to show her emotions. A mom who will always be there. A mom who will always kiss boo boos. A mom who will sing and dance with them. A mom who will not be afraid to talk about when they disappoint her. A mom who continues to try new things. A mom who is their biggest cheerleader. A mom who will always scare away the monsters. A mom who will always be the referee in fights. A mom who doesn't choose sides. A mom who doesn't play favorites. A mom who will teach them how to treat a women. A mom who will teach them the importance of service. A mom will teach them how to ask for help.

 There are so many more things I want to teach these sweet boys of mine. One thing for sure, there is no such thing as trying to hard. What you put in is what you get. I am blessed and beyond grateful for my boys. Now it is my turn to teach them.
Be the best mommy you can be.

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