Monday, June 23, 2014

My feelings on the phrase "We are pregnant."

So I am very addicted to Pinterest. I could absolutely spend every waking moment on it. There are so many things to explore. So many new crafts, or recipes to explore. But there are also times I am on there and I just have to shake my head. I know we are all entitled to our own opinions. We have freedom of speech and I never want to take that away from anyone. But with that said I feel as though there is a lack of sensitivity. That if you don't feel a certain way, you must be crazy. Which honestly drives me absolutely bonkers. 

So why am I writing about this. Well maybe in all honesty I might be a little bit emotional in the way I feel. I mean I am a lot more irritable then normal. But I saw something the other day that just made my heart hurt. I felt the need to write about the way I feel. 

As I was on the kids board on Pinterest the other day I came across a certain pin. It was a link to a blog. My interest was peaked so I decided to take a look. I absoultelt love mommy blogs. Part of why I write my own. So I started to read. This blog was talking all about how she hated the phrase " we are pregnant.". I honestly do not have a problem with this phrase. But she did. A major one. She went on to talk about how terrible it is to say that. Especially when coming from your loved one. Because though they had a part of making this wonderful miracle they did not understand what being pregnant was like. They didn't have to watch their body change. They didn't have to give birth. They didn't have to deal with all the cravings. They didn't have to have blood work done. They didn't have to nurse the newborn.  I started reading it with an open mind. Knowing she probably really needed to vent. But as I continued reading my heart broke. Not for her but for her loved one. 

Pregnancy is not easy for everyone. Believe me I get that. But you are not the only person going through your pregnancy. You and your loved one are. Whether that be a husband or boyfriend. You are both in it together. If you both choose to be. Though they do not have to go through the physical things a woman does they still go through your pregnancy with you. They help you more then you realize at times. Don't take away their excitement by telling them they aren't the one who's pregnant. Because though that is true, they are the one who will be your biggest supporter. Complaining about how you have to go through everything does not make for a good relationship. Actually, it tears your relationship apart. It is a huge life change. No matter if it's you first, second or third child. It is a time to strengthen your relationship. Because you will have so many times throughout the nine months to lean on each other. To be there. To cheer on your loved one. It reality the phrase " we are pregnant" is so very true. Because you are both in for a huge life change. You will never be the same. Because together you have created something so perfect. You will not believe the love you feel for your loved one when you watch him hold your child for the first time.

I remember that moment so clearly. Because of my c-section my husband was the first to hold our son. I remember being wheeled back into my room. I had yet to see little man for more than 10 seconds. I clearly remember my hubby walking over to me and saying how perfect he was. He was glowing with excitement. Tears in his eyes as he told me all about the first things little man had done. How he grabbed on to my loves finger so tightly and wouldn't let go. As I began to wake up more I was allowed to hold little man. Watching my love turn around and bring him to me seemed as though it happened in slow motion. He had a huge smile that stretched from ear to ear. He couldn't take his eyes off of our sweet little man. He we as one proud father. As he handed him to me he was so gentle. Quietly whispering here is your mommy. I was in love with him from that moment. But not only him I was so in love with my husband. Seeing him become a father was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing how much he loves our little man melts my heart. 

We both survived being pregnant. I can not even count the amount of time I has him run to 7eleven to pick up hostess goodies. But honestly it was a lot because one of the workers knew us by the end. He didn't have to go through the physical, but he did have to go through a lot. He had to deal with me complaining about how much my body hurt. He had to deal with cravings. He had to deal with crying and yelling. He had to deal with my hating how nothing fit right. How huge I got. He helped with nighttime feelings by changing little mans diaper. He in some way had to deal with every part of my pregnancy. He was my rock. He is my rock. 

Being pregnant a second time brings back all those memories. It also brings a lot of the same things. I still crave things and make him run out. Even if it's 11:30. He still goes. Because we are in this together. I would not want to go through this with anyone else but him. We are pregnant, because together we made the decision to grow our family. 

I can understand that some people may not like the phrase. Hate it or love it. It is your choice. Use it or don't. But never use it as a way to tear down your loved one. Because they are going through this journey with you.

Be the best mommy you can be.


  1. Okay this made me tear up. Well said, Jessica! "We are pregnant!" is the perfect way to say it. I am pregnant, but we both deal with my hormonal mood swings, we both have sleepless nights, we both worry for the safety of our babies (in the womb and in the world), we both fret over the financial burden a new child brings... WE are pregnant! Great post!

    1. Completely agree! Pregnancy is not easy on anyone! Thank you so much for your thoughts.