Do you agree?

I have been sitting here trying to decide how to approach this topic. This is one subject that is very emotional for me. It has caused a lot of tears and resentment. What could I possibly be talking about? Mommy wars. What do I mean by this? Let me give you an example.

Imagine being completely lost and asking for help. You turn to friends on social media or even other friends. To then be told that what you believe or what you are doing isn't correct. Your heart sinks because you already were unsure with the situation. To then be told your fears are correct. It can be so heartbreaking. 

I am not saying to not try and help that friend out. Or that you shouldn't say what you feel. Because that's what they are asking for. Plus I don't feel you should have to think about if what you have to add is going to hurt your friends feelings. BUT I do believe that you should think about what she is really asking. Speaking from experience many times when I post things on Facebook all I am really looking for is support. There have been times when people have made comments that hurt. I have the power and can either brush it off or let it hurt me. But at times when you can't figure out what's wrong and you just need to know that someone is thinking of you  and sending good thoughts your way. Those comments can make you feel so small.

There have been many times that I have been on Facebook and I see such a post. Say a mother is having a problem with getting her child to sleep through the night. She lists all the things she has tried, the times she is trying to put them down, and the routines she is trying. To then have someone post things such as: "Why are you putting them down so late? No wonder they won't sleep." Or " You have to let them cry it out. They won't go to sleep if you continually go in to calm them down.". All things I have seen. Both have their merits. But every mom is different. Some moms know when it is bed time that their child will just have to cry it out until they fall asleep. Some moms snuggle their child until they fall asleep. Some sleep with their children. Some let them cry and do check ins. Guess what? There is NOTHING wrong with any of these methods. They are all good options. You just have to decide which option is best for you and your child. Can I please just ask one thing? Just because it works for you and your child does NOT mean it works for every child. Can we please just be supportive, and understand that what works for our child may not work for anothers child. 

Let's strive to be positive. To never try and put another mommy down. To only be POSITIVE when we comment on another mommies post. There will come a day when you will be in the situation that you will need to ask for help. Remember that what ever you put out there will come back to you. I am personally tired of these mommy wars. My heart breaks every time I see it happen. Please be aware that every woman has a different view on what being a mommy is. Keep that in mind. Try not to post things that could be taken negatively or as an attack. Like I mentioned before we are all responsible for how we let something affect us. But we also have the responsibility of raising up those we love and care about. 

These are my rules.

For commenting:

If you have nothing positive to add then keep scrolling.

Think of if it is helping or hurting.

Always try to raise another mommy up.

Be aware that we all parent differently.

For reading the comments:

They are trying to help.

You are the only one who knows what works and doesn't for your child.

Don't think of it as a personal attack. 

Be open to new ideas.

As always my purpose in this post is to put out there the things that are important to me. Things that I would love to see changed. I in no way want to hurt or tear down any mommy. I am a huge advocate for supporting each and every mommy. Being a mom is hard enough. We don't need added stress. Think of how amazing you would feel if you were only told positive things and not negative things. There will always be times for advice. Let's strive to be as positive as possible when these times come up. Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. Let's end these mommy wars. I know it won't be easy, but I have had enough! 

Be the best mommy you can be!

What's your list?

When I first found out I was pregnant with my son there was the sheer excitement. Followed by the fear of "Am I ready for this?". Well I mean it is obviously a little late to be thinking that. But I think that it is normal to feel this way. Your life is never the same after having a baby. You no longer get to sleep when or as long as you want. You have this amazing baby who is depending on you to take care of it. I think it is only normal and human to have the fears of not being ready. 

As my pregnancy progressed that fear only got greater. As I went in for one of my last appointments I was told I needed to go in for an ultrasound. My son was measuring 2 weeks ahead of where he should have been. At that time he was already measuring at 7lbs. Oh man I was going to have a big baby. Granted I get that ultrasound can before off by a couple pounds but still I was only 36 weeks. So when I went I for what would be my last appointment I was interested to talk with the doctor. I brought my mom along so that we had multiple ears listening. As my doctor came in she started to explain that I would have to have a c-section. I felt my heart drop. I wasn't going to be able to do the one thing my body was meant to do. I wasn't going to be able to have my baby how I had planned. This is where I was glad I brought my mom. She was not taking this answer lightly. She asked many important questions. Was this just her opinion or had she consulted other doctors? Turns out this was the opinion of 2 other doctors as well. That made me feel a lot better. This decision was not made lightly. It was made with my health in mind. Sure I could try and be induced but I would have ended up needing a c-section anyway. It was not because of how much he weighed but because of his head. My sons head was no joke huge! He was a perfect little bobble head when he was born. I still remember laying on the table and my doctor whispering to me that he would NOT have fit. I knew I made the right decision. I knew that I had brought my son into this world the safest way for both him and me. 

So what's my point of all this? Every mom is scared when they head to the hospital to have their baby. I am positive that there are things they wish they could have told themselves after they had the baby. Having a newborn can be so hard! You can forget that beautiful moment when you first layed eyes on your sweet baby. 

I found this amazing video on YouTube. They asked first time moms what they would tell themselves if they could go back to right before they had their babies. I absolutely loved it. 

You can watch the video here: http://youtu.be/taDqKWWPDAY

So this made me think of my own list. 

You are going to be amazing.

This is all worth it.

You are about to meet true love.

You know all you need to know.

You will learn fast.

Don't forget to pray.

Take time to enjoy the snuggles.

You will miss these days.

Sing often. 

Crying doesn't make you weak.

Remember to laugh.

This is my list. What is yours? I love this idea. I think we always focus on the things that go wrong. Let's focus on the good. On the amazing little gift you have been given. I do not want to know what my life would be like without my little man. He is my world. He is my everything. I always heard it is worth it. I can't even tell you how true this statement is. Every sleepless night, every late night feeding is worth it. Being a mother is the best! 

Be the best mommy you can be.

Take time for yourself.

I absolutely love being a mommy. I have absolutely no complaints. I truly believe my true calling is to be a mom. But with that said one thing I hold very true is the importance of mommy time. By that I mean that it is so important to do things for yourself. To take time for yourself and take care of yourself. 

I love yoga. That is definitely one of my mommy time favorites. But I wanted to do something where I would feel truly accomplished. For about a year now I have really wanted to do a 5k. But I never really looked into it. Well one of the ladies in my ward signed up for the Run or Dye 5k and I was so interested. They throw dye on you 5 separate times during the run. It was seriously so fun. I trained for about 2 weeks, I got sick 1 week before. It's amazing how much being active helps you feel so good about yourself. 

Do you have a mommy time favorite? I want to hear it! I always love hearing what others mommies do for themselves. It could be as simple as a long bath. Or hiding in the closet eating a candy bar. Admit it we have all done it. No Shame! 

Before the run. We look so clean!

After crossing the finish line. I absolutely loved the feeling I got when I ran across the finish line. It was even better to run up to my little man and get some love afterwards! 

Coloring the sky.

So after the run they had music playing and we went and danced and sang along. This is where I got really colored. Even 15 mins they would have everyone in the group throw the dye up in the air. It was amazing. I loved how colorful I got! Plus I absolutely loved that my shirt still has the purple hue to it! 

Honestly I can't even tell you how much I believe in mommy time. If you don't do it you should. It's amazing how often we forget to take time for ourselves. We usually are so focused on taking care of our families. When my son was a newborn I usually wouldn't shower till my husband got him from work. I didn't want to not be there when my little man needed me. As he got older I started to realize I was neglecting myself. So I started to look for ways to take better care of myself. I would use nap time as me time. Instead of snuggling and taking a nap myself. I didn't do this every time he took a nap but at least once a day I would have me time. 

You are the best mommy. Just make sure you are the best you as well.

Be the best mommy you can be.

Two for one.

Sickness has been kicking my butt the last couple of days. Let me tell you infected tonsils are not fun! Definitely a long recovery. 

So today I have two different outfits. Hence two for one! Two for one post. I absolutely love leggings! I know I have been on the other side. The side that says they are not pants! No they are not pants but they are a great alternative! Especially one days where you feel your button must have been moved in your sleep. Because they fit just fine yesterday. We all have those days. For these days leggings or maxi shirts are my go to. Also, don't be afraid to wear them because you are not a stick. I think you should fault and feel comfortable. The first time I ever wore leggings like out in public, because let's be honest I rock them when going to bed, I was in Disneyland. No joke. They weren't even like a plain color. They were purple and green, with some white. Guess what I got some funny looks. But did I care? No way! I was in Disneyland and COMFORTABLE! After that I tried some plain black ones not as many looks. I love leggings! No amount or looks. Or comments for that matter is going to make me stop wearing them. Because guess what they are part of my comfy still. 

See my fun shoes! I mentioned them in my first post. I love the pop of color they bring. Also love my Color by Amber spring earrings. They have actual dried flowers in them! Just so fun.

Top: Forever21

Sweater: Old Navy

Leggings: Target

Shoes: Forever21

Earrings: Color by Amber (JessicaPhillips.mycolorbyamber.com)

For my next one it's a little valentine action. Simple and flowy. Easy to throw together.

Sweater: New York & Company

Shirt: Forever 21

Jeans: Old Navy

Necklace: Izzies Pretties

Earrings: Color By Amber

Shoes: Toms

 

I have to say something about much jeans. They are the rock star fit from Old Navy. They are amazing. They are stretchy and so forgiving. They are pretty much the only jeans I wear.

Be the best mommy you can be.

Ever have those days?

Do you ever have those days that you wake up in a funk? You stay in pjs all day and feel like such a failure. I do. Today was one of those day. But to me I embrace those days. For days like these are the days I will always remember most. They are usually filled with such laughter and snuggles. 

As a moms I feel that at times we measure the success of the day on what we got done. I know I am guilty of this. I get overwhelmed by dishes in the sink, loads of dirty laundry, unmade beds, and toy covered floors. But I have learned one thing in preparing to write this. None of that matters when you have a small child who depends on you. Being a mom is the most rewarding and challenging thing.  You constantly feel like you are not doing enough. At least for me I have my moments were I feel like I am doing no good for my son. I don't have enough patience all the time. My house doesn't always look picture perfect. We have melt downs on a regular basis. I have burnt dinner. But do these things matter in the eyes of your child? No they don't. I have heard it said that "Behind every great child, is a mother who thinks she is failing miserably. 

I promise you that what you are doing is enough. That you are the best mother for your child. My husband always tells me  "You are the best mommy Little man could ever ask for." To me that is a powerful statement. Our children love us so perfectly. They see us as super moms. We are doing exactly what we need to. To them we can do no wrong. 

Sure we are not perfect. No one is. But improvement is what matters. Being better and trying better each passing day. 

About a year ago there was a video going around on Facebook. A couple of mothers came in and talked about them as a mother. A couple of days later they came back in and watched a video of what their children said about them as a mother. It is amazing how much good our children have to say about us. To them we are enough. These mothers got one of the greatest gifts in my mind. That got to hear from their children the things that they are doing right. 

http://youtu.be/_V6EafTMKNw 

(The link to the video.)

Motherhood is not easy, but it is worth it. You are doing the best you can! Be proud of the amazing mother you are. Embrace the days that are lazy days. They will quickly become your favorite. 

Be the best mommy you can be.

Things that make me happy.

There are few things that make me so happy that I just have to share. Of course my little man is at the top of the list. Right along with my husband. But lately I have been in a funk. I love my time with my little man and hubby. But at nap time I feel so lazy, and unimportant. So I am going to get back into my blog. That way I can let out how I am feeling and share some tips that have helped me as a mommy. Plus, there are tons of blogs out there for fashion. But sometimes I feel that as a stay at home mom I can never look like that. Because let's face it. No way can you be in heels and a skirt all day long, especially when you are chasing after a toddler. Sure I have my days where I want to look like a hot mom. But those are few and far between. Sometimes I want something that is comfy and cute, but looks like I actually care. Believe me when I say my wardrobe is based on comfort. I do not buy something I would not feel comfortable enough to take a nap in. Silly right but to me that is a great motto to live by. I also have a ton of neutrals. Because I look for things that I can wear year round. Of course every new season I buy something specific in color to that season. But I own way more black, grey, white and cream than anything else. I am ok with that.

Mommy fashion to me is about the ability to look put together with simple pieces that can be reused over and over. Also, like I said earlier to be able to run after a child. So I am going to post some of my ideas.  Let me say, this is just for me to feel like I am contributing in some way in empowering all mommy's out there. I am in no way trained. These are just my ideas and outfits I love to wear. Every mommy has their own style. Do not ever feel bad for wearing more sweats then jeans. Or oversized t shirts. You are beautiful! You are the best mommy you can be. Cherish that child you love so much.

My 5 tips for mommy fashion:

1) Make sure you feel comfortable in what you are wearing. Do NOT wear something because it is the style that is popular. You need to feel comfortable and feel like you look amazing. Don't try and blend in with the crowd.

2) Before you buy have a plan for how you will wear it. When I first started looking for "My Style" I would buy so many things wear them once and then never again. That wastes so much money! Really it does! So now when I am shopping I try and think of 5 different ways that I could wear that piece. That way I already have a plan on how I want to wear it. 

3) Accessories are your friend. As some of you know I sell Color By Amber jewelry. I absolutely love it. It is lightweight and kid friendly. It is amazing to me how an outfit can go from dull to polished just by adding earrings or a necklace. Or for that matter how quickly adding jewelry can change your mood. You instantly feel beautiful. At least for me. Plus belts instantly make your silhoutte more pronounced. 

4) Don't forget about the shoes. Ever put an outfit together and feel like it is perfect then you look down only to realize the shoes let it down? Well I have. I don't own a lot of shoes and don't really like spending a lot of money on shoes, but I do have a good selection. From heels to flats, you want to have a couple of pairs that you love and that look good. Plus don't be afraid to add color in with your shoes. I recently bought a pair of neon t strap flats, that are studded. At first I thought I would never wear these. But they have quickly become my favs. I can wear my neutrals and add color with the shoes. It makes my outfit look much more put together.

5) There will be days you don't like the way you look in anything but sweats. Believe me when I tell you how true this is. Whether you are sick, you had a rough night, or you just want to quickly get your errands done. There will be days where you could care less about how you look. IT IS OK! Never feel embarrassed to leave the house in sweats. Even the most fashionable of moms have these days. Own it and hold your head high! 

I hope this helps just one person feel better about themselves. We as mommy's have to stick together. Not tear each other down. 

Be on the look out for lots of fun "mommy fashion". This is something I am truly passionate about. I hope it shows and I hope it is useful. 

Be the best mommy you can be.